Christmas songs gone wrong…

“Mary Did You Know” – by Mark Lowry and harmonica virtuoso Buddy Greene

Yes! Of course she knew! The angel told her remember? Besides what Jewish mother doesn’t think that someday their son will walk on water? Her only disappoint was that Jesus wasn’t the savior of the world and a doctor.

“Christmas Shoes” – by NewSong

Let me get this straight: on the eve of his mother’s death a young boy is out alone wandering around the town trying to score some free shoes so that she can look nice when she meets Jesus? Where to begin?

First, what kind of dad is letting his kid wander around the streets of a city alone and without money looking for shoes while his wife is dying? How did that conversation go?
“Quick son, she’s starting to fade, go get some Reeboks!”
“Okay. Can I borrow a few bucks?”
“Look pitiful and maybe you can get some for free. Hurry! She’s wheezing!”

Second, what’s up with getting her shoes? Is she already dressed up waiting to die? How sick is that? Or does the dad know something she doesn’t? This is starting to smell like a murder plot! And besides, if your kid is going to be out panhandling for your dying wife you might as well get him to try to score some real goods like jewelry. Or what about a flat screen TV? Hell, a little boy whose mother is dying could probably drive home in a new car. Come on! Dream big!

Third, the kid thinks Jesus is going to care about her shoes. What the kind of theology is going on here? Since when did Jesus give a flip about your footwear. “Well, Lady, your years of feeding the orphans and praying for world peace were appreciated, but Velcro? Really? That’s so 1983. Bye bye.”

And where did this kid get the notion that your clothes make it into the Great Unknown with you? Last time I checked the age old axiom “you can’t take it with you” still stands. What is this dad teaching this kid?

And the worst part of it all is that the narrator of the story is oblivious to the multitude of Child Services issues going on here and sublimely contributes to this degenerate father’s thinly veiled money making, child exploiting, possibly murderous scheme!

Nice Christmas song. Let’s all celebrate Jesus’ birth by sending our children out on useless and potentially dangerous errands with false expectations of God so they can learn how to manipulate others with emotions!

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