Feats of Manliness #6

Wearing a necktie is an critical part of manhood.  Below is a quick guide to a few essential types:

  1. Retro Classic: A thin, dark necktie that’s best coupled with a glass of hard liquor and a serious lack of morality.
  2. Classy Class: A smart, short, tight bow tie that’s best worn in settings were large amounts of money are going to waste (such as political fundraisers or higher education).
  3. Big Papa: A loud, fat necktie filled with a designs that celebrate fishing, holidays, cartoon characters or obnoxious patterns and comes with it’s own battery pack.  Improper for all occasions.
  4. Geek Chic: A skinny, flat-bottomed tie worn loosely around the neck (except during a kick-ass keytar solo where it is worn around the forehead).
  5. The Original: The only thing missing from the modern necktie is a tree branch to hang you from.  Think about it.
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2 thoughts on “Feats of Manliness #6

  1. Tie-dyed: A funky, multi-colored shirt that’s best worn without a tie to Jerry Garcia tribute concerts and other summer music festivals where you can go to re-live 1969 over and over again.

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