Batman’s Journal – Last Jab





September 7,

Found the guy who’s been burglering rich people’s houses and apartments all over Gotham. He was lean, sneaky, League of Assassin type material. He went in and out of homes without a sound. Wore all black. Took only very expensive pieces of art and jewelry.

I caught him because I figured out his pattern. Most thieves wait until no one’s home. This guy preferred people to be home. Freshly home from vacations, to be exact. Expensive vacations. Vacations where people come home with collectibles, antiques, that sort of thing. He liked the challenge. He liked to take it away just after they got it, right from under their noses.

So I had the sneak come to me.

Bruce Wayne went on a high end vacation. I publicized that I was adding to my ancient Eastern martial arts scroll collection. I made sure to set a record price for at least one of them during an auction.

The sucker showed up the night I got home.

He carried only a switchblade for protection and he knew what to do with it. He was fast, slippery. None of my traps or ropes snagged him.

So I had to get in close. I let him knick me a few times, then when he got confident I took the opening and broke his arm.

Little did I realize he was just as good with a knife with his other hand. He picked up the blade and jabbed into my arm.

I didn’t feel the pain until I took it out, which was about two minutes after I threw the burglar out of the study window and I was sure he wasn’t going to get up for a while.

I took enough pills to numb the pain and give me a glazed over look so that when the GCP came to take him away I was a convincingly drowsy and half-interested millionaire.

Alfred gave me one of his looks and asked if he should call to have the window repaired in the morning. I gave him one of my looks and went to bed.


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